Dear Sawyer

Dear Sawyer,

I miss you. I miss you every second of every day. Your sister talks about you a lot. Like Mommy and Daddy, she doesn't understand what happened to you. She knows that you are up in Heaven and smiles when she talks about you. You are a part of our conversations every day. 

Christmas is in three days and we are very sad that we won't be able to hug you. It's one of the things I miss the most about you being gone. Being able to squish your newborn body with the biggest of hugs and smell your baby smell every day. I am sure you see me with your sister - I am a very hands on touchy feely loves to cuddle smothery type of Mommy. Some might call me obsessive. With your sister I pretty much cuddled her every second of every day, and still do! Our guests would politely remind me that I could have her once they leave and it was their turn! I think about us all of the time and know that you would have been my new little cuddly buddy. The love and bond that we would have shared makes me happy and sad all at once. We have a new Mommy son relationship now. I still love you just the same. Perhaps one day in a daydream I will be cuddling with you and your sister at the same time. That is what I would like for Christmas. 

This is the ornament that we received for you from our remembering together swap. We hung it on our tree while thinking of you. Your sister knew how special this was to us. She touched your ornament and paused so patiently for a picture. You are so lucky to have her for a sister! She loves you very much. She knows which ornaments are for you on the tree and it is really special to hear her speak your name.
 

  

We love you, Sawyer. Merry First Christmas in Heaven.

Love, 

Mommy, Daddy, Ava and Bosco

xo xo xo xo